Soothing...

Picture this...

4:15pm I leave work
5:08pm After I'd picked up Andrew at school and Matty at the daycare, we get home, me and the boys. Matty asked about what we'd eat the moment I picked him up at daycare. Spaghetti was on the menu so I set water to boil on the stove and meat sauce to warm up in the microwave.
6:00pm Done with eating dinner, I think about giving a call to my wife still at work, about me having a karate class at 8pm. Simply asked "you remember about my karate class, right?" to which she replied "yeah, at 8" to which I specified "please get home for 7:40 at the latest".
6:05pm After having cleaned the table, we set forth to work on Andrew's homeworks and lessons.
6:25pm Homeworks done, I sit down to read in the living room while Matty watches TV and Andrew plays with a friend upstairs.
6:50pm I think about giving a tiny call to my wife, simple reminder that maybe she should think about packing it in and coming home. Her commute back home is a solid 40 minutes, without taking into account any possible delays. She tells me she's turning everything off and leaving.
7:03pm Dawning on me that she usually calls me from the road when she's left, letting me know she's about 30 minutes from home, and she's still not called me, I feel worried. Did she decide not to call me since we just talked, or has she still not left? Unsure, I call her again and sure enough, she answers on the first ring. I said only two words as she answered: "OH PLEASE!!!" to which she replied sheepishly: "I'm leaving right now"...
7:46pm She turns into our driveway. I'm right in the doorway, shoes and coat on, ready to walk out the minute she walks in. The Dojo is 10-15 minutes from our house, due to many, many red lights on the way. I'm not a happy camper, in fact I was pretty much angry at that point...

There's an back story to this. She's notorious for being late, or at the very last minute. This is a new job she's started only 6 months ago and she seems to enjoy it very much and because of it, she puts in many hours in the week. She usually leaves home for work when the kids get up (around 6:30am) and get back home after 6:30pm, and even, if I don't tell her I need her home for 6:30pm, it's a stretch.

Her previous job was a shitty one in which she worked a manual job while she's been trained as an engineer. Many months during the year she was there were on the night shift. She doesn't seem to mind putting in the hours now and seeing how she seems to be happy in what she does, I don't mind them too much either. Sure, that kind of schedule means I take care of waking, dressing and feeding the boys in the morning, in addition to driving them to the daycare/school. I pick them up afterward, get dinner ready (pretty much simply warm up something cooked beforehand), get the homeworks done for one, give the bath to the other.

I can't really complain, I know at least one who's probably much more busy than I am (hi supergroup7 and your many kids ;) ) and complaining, I am not. It's just that I'm really getting back to looking forward to my one weeknight karate class, you know, the more you practice, the more you want to practice. The Wednesday night bonus is just that, a bonus. It's free practice more than anything else and I could miss it, giving a ride to Andrew with Matty and not practice myself in case she'd get home late. The Friday night that is usually Andrew's second night in the week, and where I sometimes stay for some free practice, that one too I can do without. But the Monday night is one I don't want to give up as it's a class where I learn new stuff...

I was seriously pissed off when I left home for The Dojo last night. Some, mostly uninitiated people who think karate is only force brute and hitting stuff, would say it's not a good idea to go to a karate class in a foul mood. It works the other way around with me. Practicing karate frees my mind of everyday problems. We worked on our advanced self defense techniques. I'd worked them mostly under the guidance of my Saturday morning instructor, André, and practicing them with our regular Monday instructor, Jonathan, seemed to make them completely different. Lots of work to do, but it also helped me see them with new eyes.

The hour seemed to go by like 15 minutes. Not much sweat but a whole lot of brain food. I got out of there a renewed man, soothed from earlier petty angriness I had on my mind...

Sure we had a good talk back at home, but I wasn't angry or pissed off anymore. I simply asked her what time she thought she would have left if I had not called her at 7:03. She said she had no excuses, didn't see time fly. I believe her, she's like that...

I'm not asking for much, just the Monday night. I asked her to set some popup reminders in outlook, write yellow stickie postit notes all around her computer monitor to remind her of the limit time to leave. She said she would try her best. I know she felt bad about it, but she feels pressure. She just wants to be the best at her job and I can appreciate that...

Thanks for reading me, I feel much better now...

FM